Venting Part II

Frustrations

I have concocted a cure for mine out of muddled mint leaves, honey, a splash of limon juice, shot (or two) of whiskey and a dash of water over ice. Nothing to do on a Monday night, my roomates have the only seats at the cardtable in the house that aren't boiling ( no air con in the bedrooms) so I am stationed on the balcony balancing my laptop on my lap sitting on the concrete. It hurts my bum. And my spirits are not dampened, but on fire.

"Mama said there'd be days like this, there'd be days like this my mama said.."

ah well, after a 30 min walk to and from the tram in 34 C, 8 hrs on my feet, and a row with my landlord, I'm a bit spent, but still simmering. Ray LaMontagne blaring from my tiny speakers I smoke the last cigarette from Austin. I've been saving it for a time like this. When I am out of ideas on how to entertain myself joyfully. I watched the Spirit of Tasmania cruiser ship out as the sun went down. It was a beautiful send off. Now showered and dressed for bed, I cannot sleep. My mind twisting around what I'm doing out here, as it often does. Far from the comforts of even a makeshift home, my air mattress has begun deflating. Addressed some postcards to home, trying to ward off the inevitable lonely that happens when traveling alone. Not every day can be a party. Life won't last very long that way anyway. Some days you just have to breathe in a little deeper, and take it as it comes. I'm not unhappy, just the usual disatisfaction when things don't go my way. I am insatiable, and therefor not worried by this feeling. Just saddened that life can't be joyful all the time. Why so cruel? At least the nightmares have subsided, for the most part now my dreams are just silly pieces of memories mixed with my new reality. I think Johnny Depp was in my dreams last night, so not all that bad I suppose. I should get some sleep. The construction workers start early with all their drilling and pounding, cutting and pasting up another new condo building right next door to this cheaply made one. With the window wide open it makes for a rude awakening at 630 am, from a steamy sleep in the Melbourne summer heat. I watched a special last night on Black Saturday. February 7, 2009 was the worst bush fire this area has ever seen. Many lives were taken as a blazing inferno ripped through the countryside, with virtually no warning, entire cities were burned to the ground. It was heartbreaking to hear the stories, one in particular, a grandmother lost her grandchildren in her own house, unable to get them out in time..what a burden to bear. To have to tell her daughter that she'd lost them, unable to protect them. This country is brutal at times, I've seen it with my own eyes, felt it's burning sun and gale force winds, that change on a dime and then the cold summer nights. Unreal. Extreme. That's life in Australia for now.