I need a reality check..

Check, check, one two. Is this thing on? Where the hell am I? This trip just keeps getting wierder. I am sitting alone on the porch after a night of "work". it began to rain as we closed shop, and I rode my borrowed bike home in the dark,misty cool drops thinking.."Is this really my life?" For now, yes. I arrived "home" to an empty house. My flatmate has moved out. She took the cat and the dryer, and now I am alone for the next 3 weeks til I fly to Melbs to meet my parents. This was not in the plans, needless to say. I know no one in this tiny beach town, where I managed to score a "job" where no one explains anything to me. I am ok with the lack of responsibility, but it's all a little shady..
Melita, my flatmate, after a weekend away with her on again off again truck drivin bloke whom I have colorfully named "The Simon", decided it best that she not stay here because she picked up a guy while I was in Pomona who turned out to be a gold digging pisshead, won't stop ringing her and has called the cops on Simon for threatening him. Kevie, knows where we live. So she moved back to Simon's in a moments notice on Tuesday night. Hmm. My workplace is on a cash collecting mission i.e. Don't ring up anything paid for in cash and just stick it in the drawer...My wages await me every Thursday in an envelope addressed to me with the multi-colored notes that mean virtually nothing to me but food and maybe a little fun for the next week. WAAHHAAT?
Ok, I am ready to come home. I'm sick of the uncertainty, of the inevitable question marks at the end of every thought I have about WHAT I am doing here anymore. I have seen and saw and not much else can be said for it but that it is a crazy world out here in Oz. No one and nothing is what it seems. I suppose I should be happy. I've got a roof over my head, house to myself, Austar at my disposal with all its many music and travel channels. However, the dishwasher has broken down and the lightbulb in my room has burned out, and I can't help but think .."How ironic." I can do nothing as I am living here off the lease and no clue what kind of bulb I need. I suppose tomorrow, in the light of day, I'll venture to inspect the fixture and see what I can do to shed some light on the subject. Not that there's a hardware store anywhere within walking or biking distance that I know of. I think my work ripped me off out of some money, but I have no proof cause I forgot to write down my hours in my own calendar, like I usually do. But $125 for a few days of work at $15/hr just doesn't seem right.*sigh* whatever. At least I get a free meal each time I work, and the food is quite good. Tonight was curry night, and I got the least spicy (my stomach has been queasy lately) Lamb Rogan. No idea what it means, but it was pretty tasty with the remnants of a bottle of red I opened a few nights ago. And with the latest pop artists singing songs to me on the TV, I wait for sleep. It's not coming. Not even the chamomile tea is helping.
I long for company. Good, solid company. Not pissed off two bottles of sparkling, rambling Melita and her relationship woes (I love her, God love her, but geeez), or the people I call my coworkers, who never invite me out for a drink after, which is customary, is it not? I've got no friends. I've got no life. I've got no money to go find a life, and even if I did, there's no place to go in Coolum Beach on a Thursday night afterdark that is anywhere a young lady would or should frequent alone. Well, I've made my bed, and now, I shall lay in it. Until sleep comes. And tomorrow at least there's the beach, if it's not too rainy and cold to venture out that is. Winter in Coolum Beach, Queensland. Yippie. Well, there's always the library.

My thoughts drift to what it will be like to go home. whatever that is. wherever that is. No idea what I'm doing or where I'm going, but I know I want to be back where things make some sense. Shit, who knows, maybe that won't make sense either. Seems everyone I know has gotten married, had a baby, or something equally lifechanging since I left. What's left of my so called life back in Austin? All I can do is hope that it makes more sense than this. I feel like Alice having fallen down a rabbithole, and the EAT ME DRINK ME bits are doing nothing to change a damn thing.
Where the hell AM I?