There's a whole other world out there I have only begun to scratch the surface of..
It can be so confusing, when attempting to use past knowledge for brand new concepts. It really doesn't apply. No matter how hard I try, I have the hardest time understanding the ways of doing in this foreign land. I get my feelings all hurt and up in a bundle over things that are mere jokes and truffles to them. Guys and gals don't seem to mind too much about sleeping around, and it's a usual Thurs/Fri/Sat night to pick up a random at the bar and go home with them, whether you like them or not, whether you have a girlfriend/wife or not, and sometimes, its the girlfriend/wife that's trying to pick you up. So strange a concept to me, being so picky and unsure of letting my heart out there, or my body for that matter..I don't THINK I'm a prude, but then again, I might be in aussie terms. Perhaps I am just more aware of it now, with my senses so alert with newness. I seem to cling to the mind body connection as that is what is familiar and comfortable for me, but it doesn't seem to work for me. They seem to be having heaps more fun. I want to have more fun.
Alot less thinking and more doing is what's in order, or surely I will drown in all this thought. Thoughts are mere perceptions. From one side of the coin, and I am a lonely scared little girl, lost at sea, who can't commit to anything and has nothing. And on the other, a free spirited, courageous young lady with nothing to lose, and nothing holding me back from my wildest dreams. The world is my oyster and I can do anything, go anywhere, be anyone. Assuming I can get past all the hang ups. Up, there I go again. Flip the coin, and I'm back on top. Heads. Fly little birdie fly..think free, think light as a feather, think..no, DONT THINK.
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